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  • Julie Orrell

Technology….a way of the world

I’ve had a few long conversations with people recently – some of whom have been with their partners for a long time and met them in social or work situations, and some who are trying to meet people but struggling now due to what they refer to as the technology age.

I find mobile technology fascinating – most of us will admit we are often glued to our phones, after all that’s how we run our businesses – phone calls, emails, social media etc….but have we lost the art of conversation? I mean the true art of conversation? Do we call each other now, pop round for coffees, or do we spend most of our time messaging or texting each other. Is this the new form of our traditional letters. I for one used to write to many friends (my pen pals), I’d also write letters to my old boyfriends…has technology just replaced the paper?

If someone is trying to meet their future partner, how do they do it now….do these dating sites really work? Are people really honest? Do people still go to pubs and bars to meet people? Do people really meet people through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram….? Is that why I receive friend requests from random men from America that I’ve never met or spoken to?

Dating life now seems to be much more complicated than it ever used to be. Do people miss an opportunity to notice someone as they are too busy with their heads in their technology?

My son thinks I don’t understand his interest in technology but I really do. I can see the appeal. But when I’m teaching skiing for instance (my other job) and a person I’m teaching looks to the window to see if their partner or Mum or Dad is watching them and instead that person has their head in their phone…my heart sinks for the person I’m with.

When I go to the pub and sit near a group of friends and all but one person is on their phone I find myself wondering why they are even together if really they’d rather be somewhere else.

I’m at fault too…I do use my phone far too much…my excuse is it’s for work….and when I try to leave it at home for the day, I have people wondering why I’m not immediately answering their calls.

It’s a funny thing technology. It brings us closer to some people…we get to find out more about people than probably ever before….but does it really help new relationships. Someone told me recently that on their date nights, their partner would be on his phone messaging other people…whilst she watched on wondering why he wasn’t paying any attention to her. Is that right?

If relationships are going to work, if relationships are going to even start, if relationships are going to last… we not need to remember the art of looking in someone else’s eyes, talking directly at them, smiling at them, watching their expressions to see how they feel about what they are saying or hearing?

I could talk for ever on this subject and I’d love to know the answers. I’d love to know what the future is going to bring us all. Even whilst I’m writing this I’m thinking that I’ve been on my laptop all morning but not checked my phone yet – are we all like that? Are we all wondering what we are missing? Should we maybe sometimes just go back to the simple life, the one where we smile at each other in the street, talk to someone who we don’t know just because it is fun – (I did this the other day and the older gentlemen looked around to check I was really talking to him and so shocked that I’d started a conversation with him he seemed quite disturbed – perhaps that’s just my effect on people – LOL!) You see even then writing LOL – when did we even start doing that? In fact I can remember – I received an email years ago from my boss at the time and he signed the letter off LOL. I panicked thinking he was telling me he loved me lots until my colleagues put me straight!! Phew!

So perhaps in all my jibber jabbering this morning, what I’m trying to say is please take the time to get your heads out of your phones at times…look around you, see the world, see the people in it….you may just find the love of your life…and if you do….speak to them….smile at them….love them without technology playing a role in your relationship.

And for those of you looking for a new partner….go for a walk, get to the supermarket, find a new hobby, go the pub, go to a bar….please don’t just rely on your technology.

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